The black cloud that has engulfed me

There is no escape, no way out, no exit the black cloud has engulfed me and I can't see out. Each time I try and look out, the cloud darkens. I am being forced back and held down, as though I am being told I have no right to assume I have the opportunity to get out.

It is very hot here, beads of sweat glisten on my skin, my hair has lost any shape it did have and is hanging limp, the air feels very thick and is making it difficult to breath. Try as I might, I cannot get to my feet. It is as though there is 1000 tonne sitting on my lap, ensuring that I remain in this position.

My mood is flat. Not great, not bad, just flat. This is a difficult place for me to be in for I lack the ability to clearly communicate much. Writing in the blog is the most I can communicate about how I feel. Fortunately enough, my partner knows to come in here and have a read if I am not talking.

I find it so hard to talk most of the time. Besides the fact that I can't ever find the 'right' words to describe my feelings, I actually cause a more negative outcome by getting everything wrong when I try and communicate. Further to this it is not something that I really like to talk about. I normally snap out of this black cloud place and it is replaced by the no cloud place. This then presents a whole new set of issues.

Today, I shall try my best to quietly move through the black cloud and come out of the no cloud side to where the sky is the msot beautiful blue.